Have you ever heard these Jokes before?
Posted: June 16th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Q & A | Tags: Before, ever, Heard, Jokes, these | 8 Comments »The Sleeping Carriage
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.”
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, “I’ve got a better idea… let’s pretend we’re married.”
“Why not,” giggles the woman. “Good,” he replies. “Get your own blanket.
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The Parrot That Wouldn’t Shut Up
Marty, an RVer from Portland, travels in his motorhome with a talkative but foul-mouthed parrot. One day in a campground near Albuquerque, New Mexico, the bird’s swearing got to be too much. So Marty grabbed it by the throat and yelled “Stop it!” But only minutes later, the bird was swearing again.
The next day, the bird yelled so loudly that the couple next door in a big fifth wheel stopped by to demand its silence. Desperate, Marty locked the bird in a kitchen cabinet. But it didn’t help: the bird kept right on swearing. The next day, the bird was even worse. So, as a last resort, Marty tossed it into his spacious Dometic freezer. After five minutes, all was quiet. Worried the bird might be freezing, Marty took it out. “I’m sorry,” confessed the suddenly polite bird. “I promise to never swear again.”
Marty was astonished. He couldn’t understand the change in attitude.
“By the way,” asked the parrot, “what did the chicken do?”
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The Blonde and the Motor Home
A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peel off prize label. She pulls off the tab and yells, “I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!”
The waitress runs over and says, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize given away was a mini van!”
The blonde replies, “No. I WON A motor home, I WON a motor home!”
By this time the manager makes his way over to the table and says, “You couldn’t possibly have won a motor home because we didn’t have that as a prize!”
Again the blonde says, “No, no mistake, I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!”
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, “WIN A BAGEL.”
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